By Timzilla – Cincinnati Bengals’ year-three linebacker Vontaze Burfict blew into town with a backstory – a reputation for bad. A heapin’ helpin’ of bad. Some say they witnessed him eating a Humvee.
Simply, Vontaze is the baddest, meanest, bullyingest muther’n linebacker in team history. He’s the Bengals’ fan Jack Lambert. Dick Butkus. Ronnie Lott. Ray Nitschke. A tasty attitude-talent cocktail. But it wasn’t a fairy tale start.
With the discipline of a 250-pound garden hose turned loose at full speed, Burfict was all over the place, but no where specific. He was undisciplined. He was nasty. He was cranky. He was mouthy.
He is Tazquatch.
That’s why he fell in the Bengals as an undrafted rookie free agent. Burfict clearly scared off teams due to his undisciplined play that famously racked up 16 personal fouls in 26 games at Arizona State.
Tazquatch bites the heads off bats and ball carriers. But this bat-head-biting Bengal bad boy has a unique knack for being around the ball. Like speed, that can’t be taught.
Look, the Bengals don’t exactly have a rich history for search ‘n destroy LBs. Sure, there’s Takeo Spikes. He was good, but not Tazquatch. From yesteryear there was Bill Bergy and Jim LeClair. Both were good. Damned good. But not Tazquatch.
Maybe the only Bengal badder than Burfict? Former team offensive coordinator – The Zim – who had to break this bucking bronco – without actually breaking him. Even a Humvee-snacking Tazquatch needs discipline. It’s working.
Simply, Tazquatch is a tacking machine. And the baddest, meanest, bullyingest muther’n linebacker in team history. Do you agree?
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