But before chiming in on what’s relevant to Bengals 2012 (one word: ‘Optimism’), allow me to weigh in on a favorite OddBounces’ topic: former Bengals’ WR Chad “Say what you want about me as long as you’re talking about me me me” Johnson.
As you know, this week the doltist formerly known as Chad/Ocho Cinco/Dum Dum/Stupid Name/Johnson was released by the finally-got-wise Miami Dolphins after an arrest on a domestic relations disturbance with his soon-to-be ex-wife of less than two months. The source of the dispute, as with most newlyweds, a condom receipt in the car. His car. His condom. His loss.
Chad did the only thing he knew when confronted in a no-win situation – head-butt his wife, who promptly called the po po, who promptly booked the wideout on several charges, including domestic violence, public narcissism and illegal use of a hat rack.
So, after a storied and sometimes-spectacular career with the Bengals, and an embarrassing one-and-done season with the Patriots, followed by a few weeks of summer camp and one condom-generated head-butt too many as a Dolphin, Chad finds himself on the outside looking in on what should be the end of his professional football career. Now what?
As much as Chad craves attention, it’s hard imagining him without the big, grassy green stage. I mean, take away his God-given athletic ability, and what’s he left with? Although he’s dabbled in B-movie reality television, remove the football piece and it’s doubtful he can remain remotely relevant to a short-attention-span, fickle public.
Like most attention-whore narcissists before him, there are three most-likely ways a football-less Chad stays in the headlines:
Prison: He’s already been there for a weekend, so what’s to stop Chad from doing something more outrageous, more illegal. His lack of forethought seems to support prison as a real possibility. Probability? Ka-link.
Bankruptcy: Forget the millions Chad has already earned; he seems equally capable of over-spending even more millions. His appetite for attention knows no limits, so it’s reasonable to expect Chad will try spending his way to happiness. Cha-ching.
Coroner: Given his inevitable loss of relevance, and unravelling of the only kind of adult lifestyle he’s known, does Chad have the emotional stability and maturity to deal with real adversity? We hope he’s smarter than shown in recent years. But we fear he’s not -not by a long shot. Da-dum.
At Oddbounces, we look at Chad and think what could have been, because it’s so much better than what is.
‘Nuff said– What do you think?