Freakin' Palmer. Jeez.
You’re not going to like what I have to say.
Palmer is not an elite NFL quarterback. Never has been, never will be. And after Sunday night’s pathetic preseason performance against Dallas, that fact should be as clear as the reason why I need extra large pleats sown into my pants.
Sadly, the Palmer investment has failed to bring the Bengals a single playoff win since his arrival. Let’s face it. This team will only move forward if it dumps Palmer…and with it the irrational myth among fans that “as long as we have Palmer, we have a chance.”
What? You think I meant Carson Palmer? Yeah, right. I’m talking about the other white meat…his brother Jordan! Duh.
Really, what the hell good can Jordan bring to this team? Or J.T. O’Sullivan. They’re glorified water boys. Instead – and here’s a radical idea – let’s go with just one QB this year. No really, I’m friggin’ serious. It’ll free up enough money to sign at least two more pass-protecting free agent offensive lineman (we need as many as we can get).
See what I mean?
I say you can win in the NFL with just one quarterback. As long as your guy doesn’t get hurt. Which is why pass protection – let me say that again – pass protection is critical.
So dump the wasted salary on back-up quarterbacks and spend it on a blockbuster trade for a lineman that’s built like the Berlin Wall with feet like a jack rabbit. We’re deep enough to offer some serious bait.
The myth is true. With Carson Palmer on the field (in a standing position we hope), the Bengals have a competitive chance to win (unless he goes NY Jets on us again). Without him, it’ll be like playing bingo in a tent-full of dyslexics. No one’s gonna win.
So let’s use those precious, over-paid roster spots on players that make Carson better or keep him upright…not on guys that will never take this team anywhere worth watching.
But, you say, what happens if Carson does go down? Haven’t I made this clear already? We lose. Jordan and J.T. won’t make a lick of difference. We lose. Period. End of story. And you’ll find me making that weird laughing/crying sound that ends with me huddled under a blanket in the shower.
Trust me, there’s no downside to my plan. Besides, doesn’t losing with Chad Stupid Name trying his hand at QB sound a helluva lot more fun than pretending we have a chance with Jordan or J.T.?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
You had me going there for a sec. As a C. Palmer fan, I feared I’d have to arrange for your demise. But, I agree 100% … not so much with the one-QB approach … but that the Bengals are dead in the water if No. 9 goes down. JT and Baby Palmer can not carry this team. We needed to sign Bulger.
Hmm, interesting point, Houdino. Your formula is irrefutable: Carson out = Benglas lose. But I’m afraid your math is off a little, in suggesting no backup QB. I like the idea of having just one backup QB, and investing Jordan or JT’s salary in the OL. Better yet, how about getting a huge lazy and unmotivated head case of a lineman in the first round of the draft, then watch him morph into an unrecognizable blob of disappointment?
Yeah, well, I may have been exaggerating with the 1 QB argument. But honestly, unless it’s someone like Bulger backing him up, we’ve got no chance. So, at the very least, why not replace one of them with Warren Moon. He may not be able to move without a walker (hey, try a 3-step drop!), but I bet he’s still better play-maker than Jordan or J.T.
The best teams have experienced back-ups who were once very successful starters, e.g., Bulger in Baltimore … Kitna in Dallas, etc. The no-win situation with having Baby Palmer as an No. 2 (or 3) is he has no experience … and as a No. 2 or 3 he’ll never get the experience, cuz the No.1 gets all the snaps in practice. The Bengals not getting a better back-up this year could be the difference between playoffs and no playoffs.