By Nuff Johnson
With Shayne Graham unceremoniously abandoned by the Bengals after his two missed FG’s versus the Jets in the playoff loss, the Baltimore Ravens are reported to be on the verge to sign him. That could set up a very interesting scenario. Even though I have been forbidden to use paint in the Oddbounces world headquarters building after that finger-painting incident involving Miss Scarlet, a candlestick in the green room, let me “paint” this picture:
With two kickers already on the roster, could the Bengals be on the lookout for another big-legged kicker ?
The scene:
Sunday, January 2, 2011 (Week #17 of the 2010 NFL season)
The Cincinnati Bengals (10-5) at the Baltimore Ravens (10-5)
Ravens Field, Baltimore, MD, late in the 4th quarter
The play-by-play, by Timzilla’s favorite guest announcer Rich Eisen:
“In this winner-take-all finale of the 2010 regular season, the Baltimore Ravens are a 43 yard field goal away from taking the AFC North crown from the defending champion Cincinnati Bengals. After stalling on a 3rd down at the Bengals 26, the Ravens are relying on the right leg of Shayne Graham to win or lose the game and the title.”
“Recall that Graham was released in the offseason after a mostly accurate 7-year career with the Bengals. I say “mostly accurate” because, in spite of being the 4th most accurate kicker in NFL history at the end of last season, the Bengals chose not to re-sign their kicker, nicknamed “Golden Graham”.
“The main reason: Shayne had a history of missing important kicks in important games. In their 10-point first round Playoff loss to the Jets last season, Graham missed not one but TWO makeable field goals. So considering his “Franchise” tag by the team last season, his penchant for missing big kicks and because, well, we are talking about Mike Brown and the squeaky-walleted Bengals organization, they chose to let Shayne go elsewhere this year.”
“So here we are, 33 seconds left on the clock, the Ravens kicking team is on the field and the AFC North title is on the line. Graham is set to attempt the biggest kick of the season against his former teammates… the ball is snapped, the hold is down the kick is away and….”
When it come to "Golden Graham Gams", Shayne's can't hold a candle to Heather's-- at any distance.
We can only hope that, if this scenario unfolds in real life come January, that, like a leopard never changing his spots, a choke artist kicker never does either.
Nuff said.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Mmmmmmmm, Heather Graham. She can hit my upright anyday
I recall she was disappointed that one time when she had only your dangling participle to look at.
It’s up … and it’s GOOD!