By Higgy Smalls, contributing writer
@OGOchoCinco – Can y’all please tweet @terrellowens and tell him to get his bags packed ann head to Cincy, not now but right now!! Can you picture 81 and 85?
That’s it, that’s the tweet Ochocinco sent out recently claiming Terrell Owens should be a Bengal in 2010. (pause – I’ve stopped writing because I know this has to sink in a bit).
Terrell’s response? Oh yeah, he says he’ll change his name to Ocho Uno. He probably won’t sign on for a second season with the Buffalo Bills, since he had one of his worst statistical years of his career. He of course blames the quarterback for his own low numbers. Cue the Bengals.
We’ve spared no expense at Oddbounces; sent our best team of investigative reporters to get the low-down on the situation. What follows may be the best bit of interviewing you’ve ever read … in fact, we’re readying ourselves for some major awards.
It was simple really – we posed the question, “Can you picture 81 and 85? together” to a variety of football fans and players:
Paris Hilton – “He can dance and tweet at the same time but he, like, ignored me, so whatever.”
Carson Palmer – “Yeah, I can picture it. I’m excited about the possibility of strengthening our receiving corps with another me-me-me, 15-yard route runner who wants me to throw him the ball on every down. Gee, thanks.”
Luda – “Gas prices are way too high,
Rich people are way too fly,
And I’m where I wanna be in my life,
But why am I so behind?”
(I honestly don’t think Luda understood the question, but he just stared at me when I mentioned it so I backed away slowly.)
Marvin Lewis – “That’s Brat’s problem. Did you write that down? Crap. I have a plan. Who the Hell are you? Are we done?”
Beaker Andrews – “Mee mee mee meep. Meee! Meee! Meeep?”
And lastly, and probably most importantly we were able to catch up with Ocho Uno recently and pose the same question to him:
A prolific multitasker, T.O. contemplates ways to “one up” Ochocinco while practicing his next touchdown celebration.
Terrell Owens – “Maybe God has a plan and we have to be who we are in order to be who we are not going to be we are we and you are you and nobody is like me so sometimes we are who we are so just be ready to watch the greatest who’s played the game be who he is supposed to be ‘cause homie Ocho n me r doin 2 iz upn flip thiz leeg.”
I sure hope you’re ready for 2010 and the “Ocho” tandem lining up with Carson under center, and Ced in the backfield. It should be another great running season.
Editor’s Note: Oddbounces Uber Fan Higgy Smalls street-rapped his way into a coveted staff writer position. Look for more Higgy sarcasm coming soon.
Tagged as:
Ludacris is fly!,
Meep Meep,
Paris Hilton is (a) dope!,
Terrel Owens is Ocho Sideshow
Bengals Newswire
Can We Picture 81 and 85 Together? Do We Want to?
by Houdino on 02/22/2010 · 0 comments
By Higgy Smalls, contributing writer
That’s it, that’s the tweet Ochocinco sent out recently claiming Terrell Owens should be a Bengal in 2010. (pause – I’ve stopped writing because I know this has to sink in a bit).
Terrell’s response? Oh yeah, he says he’ll change his name to Ocho Uno. He probably won’t sign on for a second season with the Buffalo Bills, since he had one of his worst statistical years of his career. He of course blames the quarterback for his own low numbers. Cue the Bengals.
We’ve spared no expense at Oddbounces; sent our best team of investigative reporters to get the low-down on the situation. What follows may be the best bit of interviewing you’ve ever read … in fact, we’re readying ourselves for some major awards.
It was simple really – we posed the question, “Can you picture 81 and 85? together” to a variety of football fans and players:
Paris Hilton – “He can dance and tweet at the same time but he, like, ignored me, so whatever.”
Carson Palmer – “Yeah, I can picture it. I’m excited about the possibility of strengthening our receiving corps with another me-me-me, 15-yard route runner who wants me to throw him the ball on every down. Gee, thanks.”
Rich people are way too fly,
And I’m where I wanna be in my life,
But why am I so behind?”
(I honestly don’t think Luda understood the question, but he just stared at me when I mentioned it so I backed away slowly.)
Beaker Andrews – “Mee mee mee meep. Meee! Meee! Meeep?”
And lastly, and probably most importantly we were able to catch up with Ocho Uno recently and pose the same question to him:
A prolific multitasker, T.O. contemplates ways to “one up” Ochocinco while practicing his next touchdown celebration.
Terrell Owens – “Maybe God has a plan and we have to be who we are in order to be who we are not going to be we are we and you are you and nobody is like me so sometimes we are who we are so just be ready to watch the greatest who’s played the game be who he is supposed to be ‘cause homie Ocho n me r doin 2 iz upn flip thiz leeg.”
I sure hope you’re ready for 2010 and the “Ocho” tandem lining up with Carson under center, and Ced in the backfield. It should be another great running season.
Editor’s Note: Oddbounces Uber Fan Higgy Smalls street-rapped his way into a coveted staff writer position. Look for more Higgy sarcasm coming soon.
Tagged as: Ludacris is fly!, Meep Meep, Paris Hilton is (a) dope!, Terrel Owens is Ocho Sideshow