Former All-Pro DT and brainless football analyst Warren Sapp shown here being toted off to jail for domestic battery.
By Timzilla
Warren Sapp, the most talentless talking head in football broadcasting history, has been charged with domestic battery in South Florida.
Thankfully today he will not be part of the NFL Network’s Super Bowl coverage. The marble-mouthed Sapp is charged with one count of misdemeanor domestic battery and is expected to appear before a Miami-Dade County judge later today.
The NFL Network said, “We have been made aware of the arrest of Warren Sapp by the Miami Beach Police Department. In light of these circumstances, Warren Sapp will not appear on NFL Network while we review the matter.”
The alleged physical altercation against a female acquaintance took place at 6 a.m. ET Saturday at the Shore Club Hotel, where Sapp was staying. Sapp’s victim has a swollen knee and bruises on her neck, according to an arrest affidavit.
Oddbounces has acquired Sapp's I.Q. records.
She told investigators that Sapp started to choke her and pushed her down on a couch. As the argument escalated, Sapp grabbed the woman by her shirt and neck and threw her down again, the affidavit states.
Apparently Sapp is blaming the victim, as he told investigators he let the woman stay in his room, but asked her to leave a few hours later. He told police the woman fell on her leg when he tried to help her get off a couch. (yeah, right).
"No doubt the Miami Police acted 'stupidly' in arresting Warren Sapp," says Obama. "I pledge to bring him and the battered female to the White House for beers."
When Oddbounces caught up with the 400-pound Sapp, he said, “… goobledity, goobledity, goobledity, grunt, grunt, grunt, goobledity, goobledity, goobledity.”
Sapp later went on to say, “Grunt, grunt, grunt, goobledity, goobledity, goobledity, grunt, grunt, grunt, goobledity, goobledity, goobledity, grunt, grunt, grunt.”
