By ‘Nuff Johnson
After broadcasting two embarrassing defeats in consecutive weekends nationwide, it appears NBC has seen enough of the Cincinnati Bengals.
Details of the ban indicate the Bengals are unlikely to be televised again until “the gates of hell are cold to the touch,” NBC spokesperson Dean Warner said before sheepishly adding, “… but please don’t tell anyone – wink wink.”
Did you ever notice how the Bengals front office seems to take their fans for granted?
Although first denying the allegations, Warner later acknowledged the Jay Leno Network no longer plans to televise Bengals games outside Greater Cincinnati.
Oddbounces learned the news shortly after Saturday’s playoff game (OK, more likely we overheard a conversation from a PortaPotty stall near the Longworth Hall parking lot, but let’s not split hairs).
“With back-to-back beat downs at the hands of a team led buy a Maybelline-model QB, the Bengals have show their true stripes,” said Warner. “NBC is placing the Bengals on double-secret probation ban until further notice.”
Oddbounces quickly asked what the network planned to run in place of Bengals games. “Heidi and Punky Brusters … or perhaps rebroadcast of C-SPAN debates on health care reform. Ooops, forget the C-SPAN thing.”
Oddbounces asked for a comment from Bengals Director of Business Development Bob Bedinghaus, who was all smiles.
“We are pleased with the 2009 season. We can claim a divisional title, got a playoff game at PBS and our net income exceeded our budget,” said Bedinghaus. When asked about any possible fallout from the team’s weak finish, Bedinghaus would only say, “Excuse me, but we have lots of cash to be counted … stacks and stacks before April’s draft.”
‘Nuff said.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Anyone else notice no matter how much the Browns resemble a CHL football team they always seem to have at least 2 prime time games a year? How the hell does that work and why am I forced to watch the Brownstains, Boygini and arial shots of the fugliest city on Earth?
JFever,
Yeah, I’ve noticed that too. I think the network exec’s soft spot for Browns goes back to the team’s glory days (’50s and ’60s) … they don’t see it as televising jackass Braylon Edwards and Derek Anderson … to them it’s Otto Graham and Jim Brown. The networks believe if they just televise the Browns enough, eventually the team will send Leroy Kelly and Paul Warfield back onto the field.