Lobster Boy, Elephant Man Come To Defense Of Sideshow Leader Ochocinco.

“That Boomer guy flaunting all those fingers, ten I think, has really opened up a can of it,” Says Lobster Boy.

By Timzilla

Former Bengals QB and longtime NFL analysts Boomer Esiason raised the ire of sideshow freaks everywhere Sunday when he said, “This guy (Ochocinco) is no longer a Pro Bowl player. He’s an absolute sideshow. He’s an embarrassment to the franchise. It’s a shame, because they’re (Bengals) having a great season … but in this particular situation, just an absolute reminder of what a sideshow Chad Ochocinco has become.”

An irate Lobster Boy, clanking his mutant Lobstery hands in a wild, almost Rap-like music beat said, “Ochocinco is one of us, our leader! When you mess with a sideshow freak, you better friggin’ have the dance in your pants to back it up. Hey, you got the dance in your pants, Mr. Fancy Fingers?”

Lobster Boy apparently isn’t alone. The Two-Headed Nightingales, Ochocinco’s most loyal Twitter followers, say they’ll begin immediate boycott efforts aimed at all Cincinnati Bengals, CBS and NFL sponsors and advertisers.

“Ocho promised us change, and he delivered, dammit!” said the Leftside Nightingale. “Not like that other guy,” quickly added the Rightside Nightingale.

“Ocho made sideshow freakin’ acceptable,” said both Nightingales in sync, clanking their hands in a mock Lobstery hands kind of way.

The highly image-conscious NFL appears to be scrambling to develop a position on the issue. In the meantime Commissioner Goodell said, “We believe every team should go 8-8 … and kids should play 60 minutes a day.” It’s believed sideshow freaks make up 0.0000000000000001  percent of the NFL’s total audience.

Half Boy seemed to best sum up the controversy. “We made him King of Freak Nation, because he’s us, and we’re him … and we’re one. We are Freak Nation! … we are Ochocinco!!

Ochocinco’s only comments so far: “This controversy only goes to symbolize why we cling to our guns and religion … accept for you Lobster Boy, you can’t really cling to anything with those two mutant lobstery hand things.”

Ochocinco has also declared to call his next end zone celebration the “Clanky Lobstery Hands Dance” in honor of Lobster Boy’s loyalty.

Tagged as: Bengals, Cincinnati Bengals, Clanky Lobstery Hands Dance, Elephant Man, Ladies Underwear, Lobster Boy, Ochocinco, Oddbounces, Oddbounces Blog, Timzilla